Child sexual abuse

We live in a democratic age. The democratisation process is moving steadily
along in nations transitioning from totalitarian and authoritarian rule all
over the world.

What Is Child Sexual Abuse?

Sexual abuse happens when an adult or older child uses a younger child
for sexual stimulation. The stimulation may take the form of sexual
fondling, handling of the genitals, attempted penetration, oral sex, or
intercourse. A father watching his teenage daughter undress and shower is
an example of hands-off sexual abuse. Eighty-five percent of sexual
assaults on children are coommitted by someone the child knows and usually
trusts – an immediate family member, by a parent, step – parent, sibling or
other relative; or outside the home, for example, by a friend, neighbor,
child care person, teacher, or stranger. When sexual abuse has occurred, a
child can develop a variety of distressing feelings, thoughts and
behaviors. Most offenders are male. They come from all age, income, and
educational groups. Their approach is usually not violent, although it
often involves a threat or a bribe. The child might hear, &##8220;I won’t like you
anymore,” or “I’ll give you .” The abuser relies on the child’s
ignorance, helplessness, and a lack of a clear understanding that she is
being hurt. Too many sexually victimized children, especially boys, never
tell. Afraid that someone will blame them, th

hey keep the abuse a secret.
They fear rejection and punishment, or they think nobody will believe them.
A relationship of trust or intimidation with the abuser also may silence
the child. At first, child sexual abuse may be marginally inappropriate,
such as tickling or hugging to excess. During this initial contact,
children can learn to ask someone for help, but first they must know that
what is happening is wrong.

Sexual assault is any unwanted, forced, tricked or coerced sexual
activity. It includes verbal harassment, exposure, fondling and
penetration. It can happen between strangers, but more often, it occurs
between people who know each other. Survivors may require immediate crisis
counseling, emergency medical care and legal advocacy services. Often they
need psychological care and support which extends well beyond the crisis
phase. Niightmares, flashbacks, difficulty concentrating, outburst of anger,
and depression are commonly experienced. It can also lead to eating
disorders, substance abuse and difficulties with interpersonal
relationships.

Sexual Abuse

Sexual abuse of children is a harsh fact of life in our society. It is
more common than most people realize. Some surveys say at least 1 out of 5
adult women and 1 out of 10 adult men report having been sexually abused in
childhood. This might be fondling the child’s genitals; getting the child
to fondle an adult’s genitals; mouth to genital co

ontact; rubbing an adult’s
genitals on the child; or actually penetrating the child’s vagina or anus.
Other forms of abuse can also occur that are not as easy to detect. These
include showing an adult’s genitals to a child, showing the child
pornographic or “dirty” pictures or videotapes, or using the child as a
model to make pornographic materials. So there are various types of sexual
activity which may take place. It can include open mouth kissing, touching,
fondling, manipulation of the genitals, anus or breasts with fingers, lips,
tongue or with an object. It may include intercourse. Children may not have
been touched themselves but may have been forced to perform sexual acts on
an adult or older child. Sometimes children are forced or tricked into
disrobing for photography or are made to have sexual contact with other
children while adults watch. Child sexual abuse does not always involve
physical touching. It can include any experience or attitude imposed on a
child that gets in the way of the development of healthy sexual responses
or behaviors. For example, a child may be a victim of “emotional incest.”
If a mother tells her son, in great detail, about her sexual exploits, or
if a father promises his daughter that she will be his life partner when
she turns 18
8, these would be scenarios in which the child could be
considered sexually abused. Siblings who are aware of a brother or sister’s
victimization, but are not actually abused themselves, may also suffer many
of the same effects as an abused child.

How Often Does Child Sexual Abuse Occur?

Estimates are that approximately 1 in 4 girls and 1 in 8 boys
experience sexual abuse in some way before they are 18. Data on how many of
these children live in foster or adoptive homes are not available. Foster
care and adoption social workers are now saying they believe the
percentages of boys and girls in foster care who have been sexually abused
are much higher than in the general population, perhaps as high as 75%.
Many came into foster care initially because of sexual abuse and others are
children who were re-victimized while in foster care, either by an older
foster child or by an adult.

Rate of child abuse by race:

[pic]

It doesn’t have to happen. We can and must reduce these alarming
statistics. As we do, millions of people will be spared lifelong emotional
scars and painful relationship difficulties.

Why don’t we talk about sexual abuse with our children? Perhaps
we are unaware of the problem or uncomfortable with the subject. We may
think our children are too young, or that the information w

will give them
the wrong idea. We usually want our youngsters to obey and trust their
relatives, teachers, baby sitters, doctors, and practically anyone older
than them. In our wish for our children to develop a trusting out-look and
respect for others, we ignore a dangerous fact: some people who look, act,
and sound trustworthy should not be trusted or obeyed.

Why Does It Happen?

The impact on children of sexual activity on television, video and
through the internet was still unknown, but now. Some children in all over
the world, however, also engage in commercial sex while living at home. The
majority of these children trade sex for money or for more expensive
clothes or other consumer goods. Other groups of commercially sexually
exploited children include girls in gangs, children brought into the
country illegally, and youths trafficked nationally and internationally as
part of organized sex crime rings. Boys are victimized as often as girls.
More children are being sexually abused via the internet, with some forced
to take part in live sex shows, the charity.

The sexual abuse of children, child pornography and paedophilia on the
Internet today are problems of international proportion. Through satellite,
cable and the Internet, they touch all levels of society, they reach all
regions, they put at risk children who should be in school and studying to
contribute to their society. Most countries already have laws against
crimes of sexual abuse of children, child pornography and paedophilia. In
many cases, it is a matter of reinforcing these laws and supporting law
enforcement agencies.

Some children are even being “advertised” online using indecent
photographs taken at home. New videophone technology could lead to even
more children being abused. It also raised fears that thousands of children
photographed or filmed being abused would never be traced. The victims of
the abuse, which was often carried out by relatives and friends, may not be
traced because no single agency has the money or authority to find them.

The Cycle of Abuse Can Be Broken

We cannot protect our children by sheltering them from the truth. We
must teach them about the potential for sexual abuse, and prepare them to
react assertively to inappropriate touch and other signs of danger. As a
society, we must refuse to tolerate the crime of child sexual abuse. In
addition, education and counseling are needed to promote healing for both
victims and abusers. The subtle, silent trauma of child sexual abuse can be
prevented.

What Every Child Should Know?

There is a difference between good, bad, and confusing touch. Know how
to tell the difference. Parents should know that pre-school children don’t
always understand the concepts of good touch or bad touch. Studies show
that young children can understand feelings connected with extreme
experiences such as being hit “bad” versus being hugged “good.” Young
children are often confused by situations that fall between the two
extremes. Most sexual abuse involves gentle fondling and is accompanied by
gentle and caring words. Very young children may have difficulty perceiving
this as “bad” touch.

It is all right to say no. Trust your feelings of discomfort, no
matter who the person is. Say no to unwanted hugs, pats on your buttocks,
and touching that confuses or bothers you. Alternatives include running
away, removing the person’s hand, and yelling “stop.”

There are no secrets. It is wrong for someone to ask you not to
tell your parents. It is wrong to trap you into breaking a rule and then
threaten to tell if you don’t cooperate. It is not right for someone to
give you a gift and then expect something from you.

You should refuse a request if it feels weird; will separate you
from other children; goes against family rules; involves a secret; or seems
like an unearned special favor.

Child Power

We can teach children to protect themselves from sexual abuse by
explaining the dangers in a matter-of-fact way. Instill in them a sense of
their own power to say “No!” or to leave or call for help when faced with a
threatening person or situation.

Never insist that a reluctant child kiss a relative or friend of the
family. This teaches the child that adults expect him to submit to unwanted
familiarity. The youngster who learns early to be selective about
friendships, touching, and other expressions of affection is prepared to
fend off unwanted attentions and invitations. Encourage children to value
privacy and personal space. They also should know they can talk to you
freely about their thoughts and feelings. Don’t stifle the child’s ability
to give and receive affection. And don’t instill an inappropriate mistrust
of adults. The younger the child, the more attention you must pay to this.
Teach children to trust their feelings and to let affection come naturally.
Parents can prevent or lessen the chance of sexual abuse by:

• Telling children that “if someone tries to touch your body and do

things that make you feel funny, say NO to that person and tell me

immediately” .

• Teaching children that respect does not mean blind obedience to adults

and to authority, for example, don’t tell children to, “Always do

everything the teacher or baby-sitter tells you to do”

• Encouraging professional prevention programs in the local school

system.

• Do not permit to watch TV programmes for adults.

• Do not permit to talk to strange people.

What you can do .

Recognize your child’s right to say no to physical attention. Respect
that right, be alert to the child’s discomfort and intervene when
necessary. Even very small children should not have to endure hugging,
tossing, and patting they do not like. If they learn to ignore their
feelings because expressing them makes no difference, children lose a
valuable tool for protectingthemselves.

Notice when others harass or take advantage of your child.
Whether this is coming from adults or other children, your child needs to
know how to respond appropriately.

Take what your child says seriously. Be available. Help your
child figure out what to do in uncomfortable situations.

Express disapproval of inappropriate behavior in others. Do not
justify the behavior of teachers, ministers, or grandparents, for example,
just because of who they are. When you do, the child will not only distrust
them, but also may distrust you.

Refuse to leave children with people you do not trust. Pay
attention to warning signs, including your own intuitive hunches about what
is a secure, safe environment. Abusers frequently are nice people from nice
families.

What if. . .?

If your child has already been assaulted, be glad that you know about
it. Many children grow to adulthood harboring their secret with no one to
comfort or protect them. Many have suffered years of sexual assault with no
one to stop it. You still have time to help your child heal and learn
protective skills for the future. Take the following steps:

1. Believe what you have heard.

2. Comfort the child. Explain that it was not his fault. The abuser is at
fault and needs help.

3. Let the child know you are sorry it happened. Reassure her that you
aren’t angry at her and that she hasn’t been bad.

4. Tell her you will make sure it doesn’t happen again. Children need to
feel protected.

5. Get counseling for the child, and maybe for the family.

Listen to your child’s explanation for disclosing the abuse. Make sure
you report the abuse and help your child to understand that the abuse is
not his or her fault. Give lots of love, comfort, and reassurance. If you
are angry, make sure you let your child know you’re not angry with him. Let
your child know how brave he was to tell you and that you understand how
frightened and scared he feels. This is most important if the child has
been abused by a close relative or family friend. Then, tell someone
yourself and get help. Talk to your child’s pediatrician, a counselor, a
police officer, a child protective service worker, or a teacher.

Sexually abused children may develop the following:

• unusual interest in or avoidance of all things of a sexual nature

• sleep problems or nightmares

• depression or withdrawal from friends or family

• seductiveness

• statements that their bodies are dirty or damaged, or fear that there

is something wrong with them in the genital area

• refusal to go to school

• delinquency/conduct problems

• secretiveness

• aspects of sexual molestation in drawings, games, fantasies

• unusual aggressiveness, or suicidal behavior

There is a myth that all children who have been sexually abused are
“damaged goods” and that the damage is for life. In fact, with guidance and
support a child who has experienced sexual abuse can certainly recover and
go on to live a happy, successful life with loving and trusting
relationships. However, there are many factors which influence the extent
of the child’s trauma and subsequent healing process.

Some children who have been sexually abused go on to abuse other
children. While this is a serious problem, the exact percentage of sexual
abuse victims who become abusers is not known. It is important to realize
that these children are victims as well as offenders and need to receive
counseling from qualified therapists who understand both aspects of the
problem. The therapist must be able to be empathic and understanding of the
“victim” but confrontational with the “victimizer.”

Will Our Child and Family Need Professional Help?

It is very likely that at some time or other parents of a child who
was sexually abused will need professional help and support for themselves
and their child. The type of therapy that will be the most helpful, that
is, individual, couple or family therapy, will depend on a family’s
particular situation. When a child is being seen in individual therapy, it
is important that the parents, who have the primary responsibility for the
child, be in close contact with the therapist, or included in the therapy.
Try to choose a therapist who is knowledgeable about both sexual abuse and
adoption issues and with whom you feel comfortable. If parents are not
familiar with the therapy resources in their area, they may want to ask
their adoption agency or local mental health center for a referral. There
are also which may be helpful with referrals to therapists who are
knowledgeable about sexual abuse.

Support groups for adoptive parents or sexually abused children and
support groups for victims/survivors are another helpful resource. Adoptive
parents who have had a chance to talk with others who understand the
experience of parenting a sexually abused child say that this kind of
sharing is very useful. A psychologist in the field of sexual abuse, along
with many children and adult victims/survivors, say that groups for
children can be most effective in the healing process. The opportunity to
talk and share with other children who have also experienced sexual abuse
reduces a child’s sense of isolation and belief that he/she is the only one
to whom this has ever happened.

Some children who have been sexually abused have difficulty relating
to others except on sexual terms. Some sexually abused children become
child abusers or prostitutes, or have other serious problems when they
reach adulthood.
We must know that young victims may not recognize their victimization as
sexual abuse.

Excerpt from Sgroi’s book review: “Helping sexually abused children
depends on the combined efforts of law enforcement, medical, social
service, and prosecution personnel. It is essential for those in each field
to recognize and understand the others’ responsibilities in dealing with
child sexual abuse. Only then can we learn how best to help each other to
help the victims and their families. As experience, research, and learning
advance. It becomes increasingly clear that the police officer – and indeed
the entire criminal justice system – are an integral part of identifying
the problem, protecting the victim, and remedying the situation.”

I think what the report highlights is that we’re simply not doing a
good enough job in this country taking care of our children. We have got to
pay closer attention to the problem including what is happening in our own
homes and neighborhoods with kids who we think we are taking good care of.

SUMMARY

Sexual abuse happens when an adult or older child uses a younger child
for sexual stimulation. Sexual assault is any unwanted, forced, tricked or
coerced sexual activity.

Sexual abuse of children is a harsh fact of life in our society. It is
more common than most people realize. Some surveys say at least 1 out of 5
adult women and 1 out of 10 adult men report having been sexually abused in
childhood.

Eighty-five percent of sexual assaults on children are committed by
someone the child knows and usually trusts – an immediate family member, by
a parent, step – parent, sibling or other relative; or outside the home,
for example, by a friend, neighbor, child care person, teacher, or
stranger. This might be fondling the child’s genitals; getting the child to
fondle an adult’s genitals; mouth to genital contact; rubbing an adult’s
genitals on the child; or actually penetrating the child’s vagina or anus.
Other forms of abuse can also occur that are not as easy to detect. These
include showing an adult’s genitals to a child, showing the child
pornographic or “dirty” pictures or videotapes, or using the child as a
model to make pornographic materials. So there are various types of sexual
activity which may take place. It can include open mouth kissing, touching,
fondling, manipulation of the genitals, anus or breasts with fingers, lips,
tongue or with an object. It may include intercourse. Children may not have
been touched themselves but may have been forced to perform sexual acts on
an adult or older child. Sometimes children are forced or tricked into
disrobing for photography or are made to have sexual contact with other
children while adults watch.

Survivors may require immediate crisis counseling, emergency medical
care and legal advocacy services. Often they need psychological care and
support which extends well beyond the crisis phase. Nightmares, flashbacks,
difficulty concentrating, outburst of anger, and depression are commonly
experienced. It can also lead to eating disorders, substance abuse and
difficulties with interpersonal relationships.

So I think we must tried to notice, protect our children, because they
may not recognize their victimization as sexual abuses. It is very
important to pay attention in our and leastwise in ours neighbourhoods
children. We must not forget that our children are our future and we can
not cripple them and must take care of them.

VOCABULARY
From summary:
Advocacy gynimas, palaikymas
Anus išeinamoji/analinė anga
Assault užpuolimas, ataka, šturmas
Coerced (pri)versti, daryti spaudimą
Committed atsidavęs, pasiaukojęs
Counseling patarimas, konsultacija
To cripple (su)luošinti, (su)žaloti
To disrobe nu(si)rengti
Emergency kritiška, nenumatyta padėtis
Extend (pra)tęsti, pailginti
Flashback žvilgsnis į priekį
Fondle glostyti, glamonėti, myluoti
Forced priverstinis, prievartinis
Genital lytinis, lyties, genitalijos
Harsh šiurkštus, grubus, nemalonus
Immediate neatideliojamas, nedelsiamas
Intercourse bendravimas, lytiniai santykiai
Outburst protrūkis, prasiveržimas
Penetrating prasiskverbiantis, skarbus
Perform įvykdyti, atlikti
Rub trynimas, įtrynimas
Sibling brolis, sesuo
Substance medžiaga, esmė, pagrindas
Tricked apgauti, apsukti
Vagina makštis, vagina

From all text:
Advertise reklamuoti, skelbti
Assertively tvirtinančiai, atkakliai
Aware žinantis, informuotas,.
Bribe kyšis, papirkimas
Buttocks sėdmenys
Confrontational konfrontacinis
Consumer vartotojas
Contribute aukoti, duoti, prisidėti
Counseling patarimas, konsultacija
Disclosing atskleisti, demaskuoti
Empathic įsijaučiantis
Endure (iš,pa)kęsti, ištverti
Enforcement spaudimas, vertimas
Essential svarbus, būtinas
Excess perteklius
Exposure buvimas, neapsisaugojimas
Extent mastas, apimtis
Favor paslauga, malonė, palankumas
Foster auklėti, globoti
To harass užpuldinėti, trukdyti
Harassment priekabiavimas, varginimas
To hug apkabinti
Hunches nujautimas, įtarimas
Impact smūgis, susidūrimas
Inappropriate netinkamas, nederamas
Indeed iš tikrųjų, žinoma
Intervene kištis, įsiterpti,.
Intimidation įgąsdinimas, įbauginimas
Marginally nežymiai, minimaliai
Molestation bandymas išžaginti, priekabiav
Obedience paklusimas, nuolankumas
Pat paplekšnojimas, tapšnojimas
Prosecution vykdymas, užsiėmimas
Reassurance patikinimas, garantavimas
Reduce (su)mažinti, silpninti
Referral perdavimas, persiuntimas
Refuse atsisakyti, atmesti, šiukšlės
Reinforce sustiprinti, sutvirtinti
Rejection atmetimas, nepriėmimas
Reluctant daromas nenoromis
Remedy ištaisyti, pataisyti
Scar randas, gilus pėdsakas
Seductiveness viliojantis, gundantis
Siblings broliai, seserys
Steadily nuolat, pastoviai
Stifle smaugti, dusinti
Subsequent paskesnis, tolimesnis
Subtle subtilus, švelnus
Suicidal savižudiškas, pražūtingas
Threat grasinti, gresti
Tickle kutenimas
To fend off atremti, apsiginti, atsikirsti
Toss metimas, blaškymasis
Trace susekti, atsekti
Trap spąstai, pinklės
Trustworthy vertas pasitikėjimo
Unaware nenujaučiantis, nežinantis
Unearned neužsitarnautas, nepelnytas
Withdrawal atitraukimas, atsiėmimas

LITERATURE:

• http://www.prevent-abuse-now.com/

• http://www.aacap.org/publications/factsfam/sexabuse.htm

• http://www.jimhopper.com/memory/

• http://www.ncptsd.org/facts/specific/fs_child_sexual_abuse.html

• http://www.apa.org/releases/sexabuse/

• http://www.missingkids.com/cybertip/

• http://www.protectkids.com/abuse/

• http://nsi.org/Tips/sexabuse.htm

• Wounded Boys Heroic Men: A Man’s Guide to Recovering from Child Abuse

by Danial Jay Sonkin and Lenore E. A. Walker. (1998).

• The Courage to Heal: A Guide for Women Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse

by Ellen Bass and Laura Davis. (1994).

• The Sexual Healing Journey : A Guide for Survivors of Sexual Abuse

by Wendy Maltz (19 February, 2001).

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